


Maybe I am

by SolangeloTrash90



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, This was supposed to be light hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4377461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolangeloTrash90/pseuds/SolangeloTrash90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he was being honest, walking down a dark road didn't seem like a bad idea at the time. After spending so much time surrounded by darkness, it was only natural a son of Hades would feel at ease, almost safe, in a poorly lit place. </p>
<p>Of course, looking back, that should have been the first sign everything was about to go very wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic, so of course it had to be solangelo.  
> I don't know how this got so dark so fast, it started as fluff but it just wrote itself and ended being angst.  
> Oh well, thank you for reading!

**_My children are so rarely happy._ **

  
Everytime the Gods found themselves bored and decided he would provide perfect entertainment, everytime he felt his entire existence was the Fate's idea of a joke. Every single time things didn't go his way, those words would come to mind.   
And yet, never have they felt as fitting as now.

If he was being honest, walking down a dark road didn't seem like a bad idea at the time. After spending so much time surrounded by darkness, it was only natural a son of Hades would feel at ease, almost safe, in a poorly lit place.

Of course, looking back, that should have been the first sign everything was about to go very wrong.

Now that he thought about it, his whole day could've been seen as an omen of what was to come. Nico had woken up to an empty bed, drenched in sweat, after yet another vivid replay of his time in Tartarus, to realize he was late for class because he forgot to set his alarm. Exhausted, hungry and caffeine-deprived he sprinted across town to get to class on time, only to be scolded for his tardiness and bombarded with questions, the entirety of the lesson, by his petty professor.

Afterwards, he spent the next the next few hours making overly-sugary, caffeinated drinks to annoying mortals who insisted he wrote their names right - _it's Savannah, with an H_ \- he obviously never complied. 

Mortals were incredibly dramatic and painfully obtuse. And the only reason Nico was willing to put himself through this was because he thought he'd make a point and _not_ accept his fathers' money, no matter how much the God of riches insisted. Not for the first time, since his father had reluctantly agreed to this arrangement, he couldn't help but think that maybe Persephone was right, maybe Nico _was_ an idiot. 

He came to the conclusion that maybe he deserved to die if, after all these years and incessant training, he could still walk into a manticore nest without realizing it. They noticed him at once and attacked all together.

Nico fought, he fought harder than he had ever done but they managed to easily overpower him.As soon as he killed one, two more appeared, yet he kept slashing and stabbing with all he had. He was running out of energy and they were too many to count. They digged their claws into his skin, ripped his clothes to shreds, devoured his backpack full of text book he had worked so had to buy.

He could feel his own blood trickling down his body at an alarming speed. His mind was clouded, his movements slow. His father's words kept playing over and over in his mind.

**_My children are so rarely happy_ **

Nico always thought he would leave this world surrounded by anger, bitterness and relief. And he was, for the most part, right. 

He was angry, angry because he wouldn't see Hazel again, he wouldn't be able to watch her make her dreams come true. He regretted not making an effort to see Jason and Percy more often. The two idiots who, after all these years, still hadn't dropped the older brothers act. _Maybe they had meant it._

Nico was seething over the fact that he would never hug Reyna again. Or play with not-so-little Chuck.

And Will. He couldn't process what not seeing Will again made him feel. It was something like his lungs filling with liquid and not being able to breathe, like wanting to scream but no sound coming from his lips, most of all it made him feel empty and cold.

The final blow hit him across the chest. Where he had been cold now started spreading a feeling of something similar to warmth, Nico thought that had to be his blood. 

Nico felt himself drifting away, the last thing he was aware of was something pulling him out of his body. A force dragging him backwards until all he could see was darkness.

**_My children are so rarely happy_.**  He couldn't help but agree.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure you all guessed what's to come. It's extremely cliché, but I never said I was above them.

Suddenly Nico could breathe again. 

  
As he jolted back to consciousness Nico realized it had been nightmare. Just another sick, heartbreaking side to being a demigod.

Once he got his breathing under control, he took in his surroundings. The warmth he had felt across his chest, was actually his boyfriend's arm. 

_Will._

The infuriating blond that had steadily made a home in his heart, made him question everything he had once believed and forcefully kicked the darkness out of him, filling it with his light. A light that had little to do with his godly parent and everything to do with who Will _was_.

Nico knew sleep was impossible at this point, but even if he could've managed to go back to sleep there was something about this particular nightmare that was bothering him. 

He always knew his demise would come with an explosion of anger, bitterness and relief. Only this time there was no relief, Nico had desperately fought to stay alive, he wanted, more than anything, just the chance to be with the pleople he loved. His imminent death left Nico with a deep feeling of remorse and restlessness.

He thought back to his father's words. **_My children are so rarely happy._**

He had never considered himself a happy person. In his mind happiness was a destination, something you had to reach. He didn't know what it was like, but he imagined it involved being always content and excited, smiling and frolicking across lavender fields. He was allergic to lavander, he could never be happy.

Yet right there in his tiny appartment, in the little hours of the morning he couldn't stop thinking that maybe if he was so sad over the prospect of dying then he must be at least _a little_ happy.

Then it hit him: Maybe happiness wasn't a destination, maybe it was a sum of small precious moments that warmed you up from the inside.

Maybe happiness was in the wrinkles around his sister's eyes when she would smile at him, a _genuine_ smile. Or the hours spent talking about everything and anything when he felt Hazel loved him even more when he was being himself.

Maybe it was in Jason's hugs. Or in the nights spent in his own living room laughing with Percy, Frank and Piper that time Annabeth was working on her final project for college and had decided Percy was too distracting and therefore banned him from their shared appartment for a week.

Perhaps happiness could be found when Reyna grabed his hands and squeezed them from time to time as they walked around New Rome.

It was in the times he spent with his friends, in the birthday parties and awkward dinners in the underworld.

The body next to his shifted and Nico looked down on the freckled arm across his chest and couldn't help but smile. Happiness was blue eyes, sometimes sparkling with mirth, other clouded with desire. It was in lazy "cuddle fests", as his boyfriend so eloquently calls them, and passionate nights. It was waking up to the smell of burnt toast, stolen kisses and silly jokes.

  
_**My children are so rarely happy. I would like to see you be an exception.** _

" _Maybe, I am_" was his last thought before he drifted to back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that is it.  
> Criticism is always welcome. After all, I'm just an average marketing student, too stressed to have a fully functioning brain.  
> Thank you to everyone that took the time to read and leave kudos. I honestly never thought i'd get any. You guys are wonderful!


End file.
